I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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