I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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