and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
