Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
