dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize