i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
