ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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