I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How does it feel to date your dad?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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