i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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