Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
