just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
