Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
