You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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