Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
