found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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