The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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