so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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