Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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