we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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