Umm I'm too high to move.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
false alarm, still single
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
