Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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