If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
