I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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