Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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