Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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