My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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