Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
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