did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
