WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
