i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
