I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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