Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
