haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
