I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
