? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
