oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
