Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
