So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
