covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
