Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Found your dick twin last night
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
