bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
