OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
