someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
