When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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