The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
