I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
