well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
