I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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