and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
