you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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