So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
