The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
