They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
