I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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