maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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