Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
