i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
