she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Randomize
