He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
