The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
