i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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